From Bitter to Better
1 Peter 2:9

One day, two monks were walking through the countryside. They were on their way to another village to help bring in the crops. As they walked, they espied an old woman sitting at the edge of a river. She was upset because there was no bridge and she could not get across on her own. The first monk kindly offered, "We will carry you across if you would like."

"Thank you," she said gratefully, accepting their help. So the two men joined hands, lifted her between them and carried her across the river. When they got to the other side, they set her down, and she went on her way.

After they had walked another mile or so, the second monk began to complain. "Look at my clothes. They are filthy from carrying that woman across the river. And my back still hurts from lifting her. I can feel it getting stiff." The first monk just smiled and nodded his head.

A few more miles up the road, the second monk griped again, "My back is hurting me so badly, and it is all because we had to carry that silly woman across the river! I cannot go any farther because of the pain." The first monk looked down at his partner, now lying on the ground, moaning.

"Have you wondered why I am not complaining? Your back hurts because you are still carrying the woman. But I set her down five miles ago."

Many people struggle with bitterness because they haven’t set their anger down!

Pastor Jim May made the following observations,

“Bitter people are angry all the time. They are angry with their spouse for not being the perfect mate that they thought they would be. They are angry with their children for a number of reasons: the inconvenience of raising them, the cost of raising them, and the toll that they have taken upon their parents emotionally and physically. They are angry with their boss because he or she forces them to be where they don’t want to be, and to do what they don’t really want to do. They are angry at life, because they can see it slipping by and they have begun to realize that many of the plans and dreams that they had will never become a reality. They are angry with anyone who gets in their way, limits them in any way, or who disagrees with them in any way. People are just bitter and angry, and it shows in their spirit and attitude. It doesn’t take much to trigger an explosion of anger!

“The saddest part is that it is not only the worldly crowd who seems to be so bitter, but that same bitterness pervades the church as well. They are angry with their brothers and sisters in the church, and most of the time that anger stems from a misunderstanding.”

As most of you know, being bitter never makes one better. In fact, if we all stood in line to tell our stories, all of us can probably remember being hurt by somebody. And chances are, if you’ve lived long enough, you too have intentionally or unintentionally hurt someone else.

But in a stressful world, how do we deal with pain and the disappointments of life and not be bitter?

First, know that bitterness is not from God. It is not listed among the nine Fruits of the Spirit found in Galatians 5:22-23. They are love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, and temperance. So if bitterness is not from God, then that leaves only one other source: the devil.

Here’s what happens when bitterness overtakes us. When you become bitter, you can find yourself angry with everybody, including yourself. Bitter people are hurting people. And people who are hurt will hurt you! Some are angry with God. They’ve gone to church every Sunday, they’ve tried to do what is right, and now they’ve lost a loved one as a result of some horrendous accident or sudden death. Because of their hurt, they lash out at God, Whom they believe was unfair in allowing it to happen.

The church Peter wrote to was living through a period of suffering and hard times. Peter was trying to encourage them. And I think Peter has a Word that is relevant for us today.

First, we must all understand what it means to be a Believer in Christ. It means you are special to God. There are people who go through life never feeling special. No one has ever told them, “You’re Special!” Can you imagine children growing up and never having a parent say these words? Or husbands and wives married for twenty and thirty years?

Satan loves it when we get angry and stay angry. Anger itself is not sin. Jesus became angry, but He did not sin. We sin when we dwell on our anger day in and day out and it is allowed to fester. The old nature in us wants to hold onto the grudge. We talk about the pain of the hurt, think a lot about the pain from the hurt, and allow it to become like cancer and eat us up. When cancer starts in one area, the doctor must deal with it and remove it, because it will spread if untreated. If anger is untreated, it turns into bitterness. It may start with that one thing somebody did to you years and years ago, but if you don't treat it, it will cause you to respond to others the same way.

How do you began the treatment process for bitterness? You start with the therapy of forgiveness!

Do you know why it is so difficult for healing to take place in some couples and their marriages end with a divorce? It starts out over one incident and because there is no forgiveness extended to the offender, it lingers there buried until the right time. Then the least little thing the other person does triggers it, and believe it or not, everything that was ever done to that person comes forward.

I've talked to couples like this. If they are church members, usually out of respect they will talk to you about it. But even though it looks like they are listening, they don't hear a word I've said. The only way at this point to save their marriage is to get both of them willing to submit to the Word of God. Now this is hard sometimes because of the buildup of pain. But if both are willing to trust the Word of God, God can rekindle the flame in their marriage.

Surprisingly enough, I've seen bitterness in churches of all sizes. It is found in large churches, medium-sized churches, and even small churches. All it takes is one person who has carried the pains or hurts which occurred years ago to still carry that pain. When this happens, that one person will wreak havoc in the congregation. And that person is held in bondage because there has been no forgiveness. If you’ve been hurt pretty badly, forgiveness is usually the last thing you want to do. Deep inside, you may think you are punishing the person or persons who have hurt you. However, when you choose not to forgive you are punishing yourself.

But here's Peter's advice. First, know who you are in Christ. It's like a hungry person standing in the middle of a grocery store his father owns. His dad has everything he needs right there to satisfy his need. My Bible tells me our God has the whole world in His hands. He has everything at His disposal to perform heart surgery on us, remove the spirit of bitterness, and replace it with a spirit of peace. Why peace? Because we're not at peace with ourselves, with God, or anyone else when we are eaten up by bitterness. So the very first thing we have to do is realize God can heal us of the pain.

The second thing is just as important: you must be willing to release it! Give it to Him. It’s like the words to a song, “That problem that I had, I turned it over to Jesus, and He worked it out!”

Peter points out that as Believers, we are a "chosen generation." The Greek words actually mean a chosen or elect race. The idea is a new race of people, a new species that differs from the other races upon earth. It doesn't matter that you are from China, Russia, Asia, Africa, the United States, or wherever. God recreates us by His Spirit.

The Spirit of God changes us inwardly, not outwardly. Your size or your physical height does not change. This is only superficial. But God changes us deep inside, removing our hardened, self-centered hearts and replacing them with hearts that love Him. In fact, God implants His divine nature within us. And believe it or not, just like my son looks like me, or your son or daughter looks like you, we start looking like Him.

This is why in Ezekiel 11:19 the Lord says, ". . . I will give them one heart, and I will put a new spirit within you; and I will take the stony heart out of the flesh, and will give them a heart of flesh." That heart of flesh is a heart that is full of His joy, His peace, and His love.

Now on top of that, Peter says we become a royal priesthood. It's hard to be bitter and stay bitter when we realize who we are in Christ because Christ makes us better. Without Christ, we're kind of left to struggle with bitterness alone. But with Christ, we have the Holy Spirit, Who comes alongside us to assist us in experiencing the love of God.

When Peter uses the words "a royal priesthood," he means we are priests of royalty. You see, even though things might be a little difficult right now, even though we might be experiencing some discouragement right now, we must remember we are priests who serve the Creator of the Universe. In fact, service to God was the primary function of the priests. The primary function of every Believer is no different: it is serving God—not just in the temple or sanctuary, but wherever we may find ourselves.

Here's revelation from the Word, "Don’t be anxious about anything. Instead pray about everything because God can take care of the situations of our life. And when we do this, His peace, which is beyond our understanding will keep us calm during the greatest storms of life.”

You are Special! Don’t clog your mind with hurtful things. Instead, think about the truths found in the Word of God. (Phil. 4:6-8) THESE THINGS MAKE YOU BETTER AND NOT BITTER!