The Proof Is in the Pudding
“It is fashionable now to talk about reconciliation. I think we have to demonstrate reconciliation.” Mississippi State Representative Bennie Thompson’s words are very true, especially in light of recent events which have sparked protests and ignited a passionate discussion on the quality of race relations in the US. Everyone agrees something must be done, but the greatest challenge lies in determining exactly what can be done.
We know government is not the answer. Our lawmakers may pass anti-discrimination laws, but legislation is only a bandage. No law can curb the heart attitudes which fuel prejudiced behavior.
Where to Turn for Answers
The Church claims to have a remedy for the race problem, but we haven’t been living up to our calling to be salt and light in this area. Even a casual observer would find the ugly stain of prejudice smeared on the walls of our sacred buildings. We tend to identify ourselves by the racial makeup of our congregations rather than by their common spiritual makeup (The Church is a diverse body of believers — brothers and sisters in Christ.)
We have failed to maintain the cross-cultural dynamic of our demographically changing communities. We have continued with business as usual, ministering to the community within our four walls instead of actively reaching our new neighbors. We have chosen for our friends others who look, talk, and worship just like us. We have lagged light-years behind the secular world in promoting cross-cultural relationships, maintaining our chocolate-or-vanilla perspective on outreach and relationships.
Where can we turn if the most influential public institutions in our world are flawed and limited? We can turn to a God who is not. God is at work — in and through His people. He transformed the Apostle Peter from a devout-but-racist Jew into one of the chief instruments involved in integrating the Church. He is still changing lives today. Are you ready to follow Him down the path to racial healing? This article will outline a few steps we can all take toward building and maintaining solid cross-cultural relationships.
Building Strong Cross-Cultural Relationships
- Meet minorities where they are. Initiate relationships by learning about others’ culture, history (Are you aware of prominent dates and people in other cultures’ histories?), favorite foods, dress, and interests. We should study these things with the intensity and intentionality of a missionary preparing to reach a foreign country. (And isn’t that what we all are — missionaries to the world next door?) When others feel we are making a sincere effort to connect with them, we will foster understanding and build relationships.
Building diverse relationships has to be intentional if it is going to work. Intentionally invite people of different cultures to your church; intentionally share your faith with them; intentionally make these people feel welcome. Intentionally sit beside them and pray with them. If you have the authority to do so, appoint proven godly leaders from diverse cultures to your church staff and give them the ability to influence your church’s outreach efforts.
- Establish trust. The sad truth is many minorities are cautious about building relationships with Caucasians in America because their life experiences have made them reluctant to trust. (For more background on what has influenced these feelings, study early American history.)
Whether consciously or subconsciously, minorities tend to respond to Caucasians from this frame of reference. It will take time — and plenty of progress — to reverse this. [Many Caucasians are cautious because of bad experiences with encounters of members of other races as well! Let’s face it: All of us, if we think hard enough, can come up with those experiences. But as Paul said, “. . . Forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 3:13b–14)]
If we are serious about initiating racial healing, we all must press on toward achieving God’s objective for the Body of Christ — oneness, regardless of skin color, economic background, or social standing.
- Meet their physical and spiritual needs. Someone once said, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” Compassion doesn’t always require giving up tangible things like money, time, or food for others. It just means caring enough that you are willing to give of yourself to meet another’s needs. As you build relationships with minorities in your church and community, you will be able to identify their needs and work toward addressing them. Every human being needs encouragement, acceptance, respect, sound advice, prayer, and friendship. Start there in your relationship, and in time God will show you how to meet other needs.
As we take these steps toward building cross-cultural relationships, we will not only find ourselves closer to the people we desire to reach; but we will also find they have drawn closer to us. This unity will make the Church a force to be reckoned with in our world. This is the kind of movement which will cause the world to stop and take note, “See how they love one another.”
Read the News
Let me conclude by telling a story about a man who put these principles to work and built a bridge which brought racial healing to a deeply wounded heart:
As Jim Bash read the Charlottesville Daily Progress in June of 2003, he learned of plans to award honorary diplomas to about 2,000 African-Americans. These individuals had been deprived of five years of school simply because of the color of their skin. Back in 1959, the Prince Edward County school board had voted to shut down the public schools rather than integrate them. In response to the board’s decision, private, segregated Christian schools were built for Caucasian students; but the African-Americans had no school at all. The public schools remained closed until 1964.
Jim shared a personal connection to the story he was reading: he had been the principal of the Farmville high schools when Prince Edward County’s school board made its infamous decision.
As Jim continued reading, he was surprised to learn one of the ceremony’s organizers was an employee at Prince Edward County High School. Even more surprising was the fact this employee, Rita Moseley, had been among the African-Americans forced to attend school in another county due to the school board’s ruling. Jim was impressed to find that 44 years after Rita’s shameful experience, she was helping her community achieve progress in the area of racial relations.
Love in a Letter
Encouraged by Ms. Moseley’s story, Jim decided to write her a letter. In this letter Jim traveled backward in time 44 years to the fateful day of the county board’s vote. Jim recalled his opposition to the board’s proposal to close the schools. When the fateful vote was cast, Jim submitted his resignation.
Jim didn’t realize his letter would spark the beginning of a wonderful relationship with Rita Moseley.
When Rita read Jim’s letter, she broke down in tears. She said, “That was the first time I actually cried. Until then, I didn’t know anyone cared. I thought all the white people favored closing the schools.”
Rita continued, “I often wonder if I conditioned myself as a child. I never felt the anger, bitterness, and hatred I saw all of my life in others. I never allowed myself to feel it as a child to protect myself and as an adult to protect my two children. I was determined they would not grow up with it, either.
“Trust is also very hard for me because, if you couldn’t trust a whole town of people to do the right thing, whom could you trust? But while reading your letter with tears in my eyes and running down my face, I can honestly say this is the first time I actually allowed myself to feel any emotion about what happened to me and other black children in Prince Edward County.”
Compassion Builds Bridges
Jim Bash demonstrated cross-cultural relationship-building 101. He met Rita where she was and spoke from a vantage point to which she could relate. Then he built trust by doing the right thing under pressure. Finally, Jim met Rita’s need for answers and affirmation. The end result? Dialogue, understanding, and healing.
Sometimes media paints a horrific picture of the difficulties of racial harmony. After having a bad experience with one member of another race, depending on the level of hurt, we may respond like Rita Moseley: “I didn’t know anyone cared. I thought all the white people . . . .” We can change the words to “all the black people . . .,” “all the Hispanic people. . .,” or whatever race we want to refer to. Despite our bad experiences, there are good people in all races who see others, not by the color of their skin, but as men, women, boys, and girls — as equals.
Our goal in the Church is to see each other as brothers and sisters — equals — in the Body of Christ! Building strong, cross-cultural relationships is a journey which starts with a single step. That step begins with a single decision. That decision begins with a single person. That person is you.
By Cameron Edwards
Points derived from Winning the Race to Unity: Is Racial Reconciliation Really Working? by Clarence Shuler, 1998, Moody Press.
Unbound, Longwood University, 2014.
Conscience & Courage Newsletter: Volume 2, Summer 2006, p.5.
Related Article:
What is the best way to achieve racial reconciliation? – Q&A with Cameron Edwards
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