Everyone loves a winner. On October 7, 1916, one college football team took winning to extremes. Georgia Tech matched up against Cumberland University. By the time the game was over, Georgia Tech had a record-setting 222 points, to Cumberland’s 0. Georgia Tech had 32 touchdowns in the game, but Cumberland could not even manage a first down.
Growing up and playing sports, I remember my mother used to tell me someone has to win and someone has to lose. This was true, but I wanted to win. Losing can be demoralizing. Have you ever seen kids who have a hard time losing? After the game is over, they sit on the sidelines and cry. (I know, because I used to be one of those kids.)
Winning with Grace
Just as bad, if not worse, are the kids who haven’t learned how to win with grace. They’re the ones who rub their victory in the other kids’ faces. They put the other kids down with humiliating insults. They make everyone else miserable with their inflated view of themselves and their condescending, winner-take-all attitudes. No one wants to be around them.
Old habits die hard. Sometimes as adults, we respond in these childish ways to winning and losing the ongoing political, social and cultural debates in our world. We take sides aligned with our worldview, and feel our side has to win. If our side loses, we cry foul or complain. If our side wins, we celebrate.
Recently the Supreme Court ruled to overturn the court case “Roe v. Wade,” removing the federal right to abortion. Many may feel, as the dissenting justices expressed in their opinion, the ruling is a loss for women. They feel women have been deprived of their fundamental rights.
Those who are pro-life considered the Supreme Court’s decision a victory for the rights of the unborn. They see it as another step toward creating a culture of life in the United States.
As a Christian who stands on the Bible’s teaching that all stages of life are precious (Psalm 139), I am thankful for the Supreme Court’s decision on “Roe v. Wade.” Many babies will be spared from premature death because of laws states have put in place to protect them. This is an important moral victory everyone should celebrate, regardless of political affiliation.
More Important Than Winning
At the same time, there is something even more important than winning in the divisive abortion issue. In Romans 12:10, the Apostle Paul wrote, “Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.” It means I am called to show love and respect for others, even more than I desire victory.
Love Listens
What does this love and respect look like in real life? First, love listens. Cathy Harris, a woman who had an abortion and later became a pro-life advocate said, “I had a lot of women who came alongside me and just let me talk. I think sometimes we don’t come alongside someone because we don’t know what to do or we don’t know what to say. I think for me it was, I just needed to be heard. I needed someone to just listen to the feelings that I had bottled up inside of me that I was scared to share with someone.”
You don’t have to know what to do. You don’t have to have the perfect response. Just listen. That’s what love does.
Love Understands
After we have listened, love makes an effort to understand. In a “Wall Street Journal” op-ed (pay wall at link), writer Peggy Noonan stated, “The vast majority of human beings on both sides [of Roe v. Wade] are utterly sincere and operating out of their best understanding of life. . . . This long life tells me the overwhelming majority of people held their views for serious reasons. They sincerely saw the prohibition of abortion as a sin against women; they sincerely saw abortion on demand as a sin against life.
“You have to respect the opposing view.” We will never always agree on everything; but we do not have to be disagreeable. The key word here is “respect.” In so doing, we show Christ’s love to the other person.
Someone once said, “Everyone does what makes sense to them.” My actions or opinions may not make sense to you, and vice versa. That doesn’t have to spell the end of our friendship. As we interact with one another, Christian love compels us to put on the other person’s glasses, to walk in their shoes, to enter their world. This does not mean we should surrender our convictions and accept what is clearly wrong. If the other person is not a believer, the relationship you build with them may give you an opportunity to share the love of Christ!
Love Meets Needs
Love serves. You may know a woman who is unmarried and faces an unplanned pregnancy. She doesn’t need a lecture – she probably already feels guilty. She doesn’t need judgment and condemnation. Instead, share resources which will help her. If you know young women who are in relationships, encourage them to set healthy boundaries. Work with your spouse to befriend and mentor them. Model for them an honorable relationship with your spouse. Ladies, offer to become their confidante and counselor. Love doesn’t watch from the sidelines, but it gets in the game.
Love Tells the Truth
Finally, and only after listening and understanding and serving, love speaks the truth. Children are precious in God’s eyes. Pastor Kevin DeYoung has officiated the funerals of miscarried babies and grieved his own. In his op-ed article, he said this, “In every case, the tears tell us what we already know: The baby in the womb is not a mere fetus, a potential human being whose worth depends upon our choice, but a precious child ready to be nurtured, supported and loved.”
Men, women and children need to hear this truth. Long after we have forgotten who won or lost the abortion debate, the truth will remain. And it has power to set others free. They will be more likely to accept it if it comes from someone who truly loves them — someone like you, who listens, understands and serves.
Article by Cam Edwards
For more insights on love in action, read this article by Bibleway.
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