Why Can’t We Be Friends?

A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another. John 13:34–35

If you stuck two pins on a map to represent the political views of late Supreme Court Justices Antonin (Nino) Scalia and Ruth Bader Ginsburg (RBG to her fans), you’d find them at opposite ends of the world. Yet despite their sharp political differences, they were very good friends.

Some Things Are More Important Than Votes

Judge Jeffrey Sutton painted this portrait of the late justices’ unusual friendship from personal experience:

During one of my last visits with Justice Scalia, I saw striking evidence of the Scalia-Ginsburg relationship. As I got up to leave his chambers, he pointed to two dozen roses on his table and noted that he needed to take them down to “Ruth” for her birthday.

“Wow,” I said, “I doubt I have given a total of twenty-four roses to my wife in almost thirty years of marriage.”

“You ought to try it sometime,” he retorted.

Unwilling to give him the last word, I pushed back: “So what good have all these roses done for you? Name one five-four case of any significance where you got Justice Ginsburg’s vote.”

“Some things,” he answered, “are more important than votes.”

I let him have the last word.

Story shared by Christopher Scalia in a tweet, dated September 18, 2020.

If you scratched Nino and RBG, one would have bled crimson red and the other royal blue. They saw their work through a different set of lenses and held strong, often divergent opinions.

But after quitting time at the office, Nino and RBG were “best buddies.” By their own admission, they were an odd couple. Their families were very close. They entertained at one another’s houses for New Year’s celebrations. They traveled to India together. They shared a love of opera and had complimentary personalities. Nino hunted game, and RBG’s husband, Marty, cooked it. (Nino especially loved to eat Marty’s cooking!)

For these friends, mutual respect and shared interests mattered even more than the outcome of their landmark court cases. Their relationship was a breath of fresh air which offers a hopeful ideal in our divided time. It reminds us disagreement is not a turn-off, but an invitation to know others more deeply so we can find the common good and love better.

All Battles Are Not Worth Fighting

With bitter division and discord tearing our nation apart, Christians have taken places on both sides of the conflict. Sadly, we have adopted many of the same divisive tactics and attitudes as the lost world toward others with whom we disagree. This is unhealthy and unhelpful to society. Often we are more like an easily polluted stream of water than the salt Jesus called us to be.

It’s easy to justify our politics on the basis of our view of truth. “Both sides can’t be morally right,” we argue. Truth matters in every area of life, but not all truths are worth the price of friendship. We do ourselves and the other person a disservice if we write them off as a potential friend on the basis of our point of disagreement. If we applied this universally, every marriage would fail before it began, every family relationship would be strained, and every church could have no more than a handful of members. All battles are not worth fighting.

Some Things Are More Important Than Agreement

The scalpel of wisdom equips us to surgically separate people from their disagreeable ideas. It is an X-ray lens which enables us to see others’ humanity beneath their opposing worldview. Underneath their ideological foundation, they are eternal souls for whom Christ died. They are people who, after putting their faith in Jesus for the forgiveness of their sins, can become members of His body — just like us.

Some things are more important than agreement. People and their eternal destiny should be at the top of that list.

Did you know we will spend eternity in Heaven with Democrats and Republicans? There will be liberals and conservatives there, too. Believers who disagreed fiercely on earth will be eternally united in Heaven. So why not bring Heaven down to earth? Let’s live now in light of the reality which shall be. Instead of broadcasting the flaws we see in others and their views, let’s celebrate the good (and consider we have flaws of our own). Let’s be respectful when we don’t align on race and politics. Let’s be intentional about reaching across the aisle to build relationships. Let’s be friends. America needs this now more than ever before.

Article by Cam Edwards